Ukraine reaffirms desire to join NATO after envoy comments


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Russia: Stop hitting yourself.

Ukraine: You are literally holding out hand and hitting us with it.

Russia: Stop hitting yourself or I will have to intervene and hit you.

Ukraine: What?

Fox News/ China/ other entities pro Russia: Well if Ukraine wants to hit itself who are we to intervene?

Germany: Sounds sketchy but Russia is our dealer for some stuff we are hooked on… so… let’s just see how this play out. Have a single elbow pad Ukraine. Oh let’s also get rid of some stuff that will help us get independent of Russia’s stuff because we had a knee jerk reaction to Fukushima.

Or, inspired by below:

>be Russia

>believe yourself to be very important

>find your exes who you had an abusive relationship with.
Remind them that they are still yours and not to flirt with other countries/ alliances.

>get upset when they seek out partners who treat them better/ offer them opportunities.

>rough up the ones that haven’t quite found partners yet to threaten the rest. Tell them to stop seeing other alliances and economic unions.

>complain that other countries/alliances are stealing their exes and play victim.

>have your buddies complain that people are intervening in your domestic disputes.

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