Russia threatens to attack Kyiv should Ukraine launch strikes on facilities in Russia


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Russian spy shuffles drunk towards the Pentagon.

"That guy there in the trench coat... He's that same Russian spy we threw out yesterday, isn't he?"

"Yep, and the day before that, and the day before that."

"Should I tell him to get off the grass before he tries to shit in the rose bushes again?"

"Yeah, he got pretty cut up on the thorns last time. Might be wise."

"Alright, come here, you trench coated weirdo. Let's get you back home."

"You no see Ivan."

"Yes we do, buddy. You aren't sly."

"You no see Ivan. Ivan invisible like shadow. Ivan need plant bomb in presidents house."

"Sure Ivan, sure..."

"Ivan poison god."

"Sure you did, buddy. Sure you did. Now come on, let's get your pants up and get you into a taxi."

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