Ukraine warns Russia of massive missile strikes after U.S. rockets arrive


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[–]MasterXaios 289 points290 points291 points  (34 children)

Russia: “Just stop fighting, okay. Stop.”

Ukraine: “Stop fighting for Donbas?”

Russia: “No stop fighting the war.”

Ukraine: “What?”

Russia: “Just quit. It would be so cool of you if you just quit. Then I can win the war and I’ll have a big party and I’ll put you both on the guest list, plus one. I’m going to have a man who does magic. He’s really good. Not like cheesy magic, like good magic.”

Ukraine: “We’re not going to quit the war. Why would we do that?”

Russia: “Because…I want it. Come on give me it. Give me it. Give me it. Come on. Give me it. Just give me the war! I’m sorry. Please. Please.”

European Union: “Well, Ukraine, he does make a compelling argument.”

Russia: “Come onnnnnn. Come on! (Falls back against Belarus) Ow it’s not padded!”

Ukraine: “Russia, can I ask you a question, why are you even fighting the war?”

Russia: “You know I needed something to do to get the general populace off my back. This seemed easy. What about you? Why are you doing it? Who’s your general populace?”

Ukraine: “I’m fighting the war because I want to save the lives of the people I love in the country that’s the greatest country in the world.”

Russia: “What does that even mean? Hey I’ve got an idea! How about you quit fighting and I win and then I let you do all the work!”

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