NATO member Latvia tells Russian envoy to leave, in solidarity with Estonia

nato-member-latvia-tells-russian-envoy-to-leave,-in-solidarity-with-estonia

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A Polish man is walking on a beach on the edge of the Baltic sea when he sees something odd and surprising - an Arabian-style old oil lamp half-buried in the sand. Picking it up and inspecting it, he's cleaning it off when a genie bursts out of the lamp thanking the man for freeing him, and offering to magically grant three wishes for doing so.

The Polish man thinks about it for a moment, and then he says that he would like the Huns to invade Poland, and then leave. The Genie quirks an eyebrow at this odd request, but then nods his head, claps his hands together, and declares that it is so.

Soon, from their spot on the beach, the pair of them see a hellish sight of the horde of invaders wreaking havoc across the Polish countryside, burning houses, terrorizing the people, and just generally creating chaos. After a few minutes, things die down, and the Mongol horde leaves.

The genie turns to the man, clearly curious about this. Was this truly what the man had wanted? There are tales of trickster genies granting wishes in ways that twist the wish to torture the one doing the wishing, but the genie hadn't even needed to seek out some alternate interpretation of this wish. What was this man playing at?

Nevertheless, the man spoke again, and declared he was ready to name his second wish. The genie expected that the man would do as many before him had done with their second wish, and beg to undo their first wish, but once again the genie was blindsided by what the man had to say. He told the genie that for his second wish, he wanted the Huns to invade Poland, and then leave.

The genie's jaw dropped, but with an uncertain look in his eyes, he nodded his head, clapped his hands together, and declared that it was so.

Soon enough, the chaos and destruction the pair had only just seen coming to an end picked up again, and it was far worse than before, men being slaughtered in the streets, women and children running and screaming, livestock beheaded and bleeding out in the pastures. And then, after this seemed to go on for hours, the onslaught slowly died down and the attackers left the way they came.

Warily, the genie turned back to the Polish man and asked him what his final wish would be, half afraid of what the man would say in response. Sure enough, the Polish man told him that his third wish was that the Huns would invade Poland, and then leave.

Sighing wearily, the genie nodded his head, clapped his hands together, and declared that it was so.

This time, the terror and bloodshed lasted for days. The invaders made it clear that they intended to leave no survivors, and the genie's magical aura protected the Polish man only so he could see the results his wish had wrought. Unspeakable acts were committed on his countrymen, and when this seemingly interminable period of torment finally ended and the Huns retreated back in the direction they had come from, much of Poland was left a smoldering ruin.

Curious, the genie spoke to the man once more, simply asking him why he had done this. Why thrice visit upon his own people such horrors? What could have possibly possessed him to choose this of all things to wish for, not once but three times?

"Because," the Polish man explained to the Genie, "In order for the Huns to invade Poland three times and then return home, they would have to march across Russia six times."

Edit: Okay, for those trying to give me "um actually" corrections about geography, let it be known that:

  1. This is an old joke, I am not the first to tell it.

  2. Traditionally, the joke uses the word "huns" when probably "Mongol hordes" or something like that may be more accurate for what the joke is meant to be saying. I don't know, I'm not a historian, I'm just retelling an old joke.

  3. Such references to an invasion by these hordes seems to be a reference to this. Yes, that's the Mongols under Ögedei Khan invading Russia's capitol city of Moscow and then eventually working their way over to Poland's major city of Krakow (evidently after taking a detour through Crimea and then coming back around to Ukraine). Is this a practical route for invading Poland from Mongolia? Hell if I know, I'm not a horse-riding nomadic warrior tribe. But evidently it is a route that they took.

  4. Is all that stuff I just said accurate? Dunno, it was going off of vague memories and a few quick Google searches. But this definitely isn't lacking some basis in geographical and historical reality.

  5. Also, genies don't exist. Sorry to get your hopes up.

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