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[–]DoomGoober 225 points226 points227 points  (35 children)

Destroying billions of dollars of Russian field equipment: check.

Destroying large portions of Russia's air force: Check.

Killing Russian military commanders: Check.

Killing Wagner group mercenaries and getting their commanders to commit war crimes so Wagner group can be sanctioned: Check.

Killing lots of Russians of fighting age that have not fled: Check.

Possibly making it so Putin won't win his fiftieth term in office: Check.

No active duty American soldiers coming home in body bags: Check.

Cynical but a military accountant would say that America is getting a pretty good deal.

[–]Ferris_Wheel_Skippy 2062 points2063 points2064 points  (345 children)

russia is the new "This is what winning looks like."

honestly, as someone who has studied Russian history...this has kind of always been how they promote themselves lol

it's a huge reason why Victory Day (the end of WW2) is a BIG deal. Probably the biggest holiday after New Year's. They need to tell everyone around them who cares that they were the "ultimate winners" in World war 2

if you look at their military record, it's really an ongoing clusterfuck of hilariously pathetic military botch-ups: Crimean War, Russo-Japanese War, early parts of WW1, the Invasion of Afghanistan, the first Cechen War. They obviously had some level of success since they were a world power for a while, but holy fuck have they had some major screw-ups.

[–]Lynthelia 1190 points1191 points1192 points  (81 children)

They sailed their fleet from the Baltic to Vladivostok to fight the Japanese. On the way they shot at a British fishing boat because they "thought it Japanese" (in the Baltic???) which got them banned from using the Suez.

In the end, they sailed halfway around the world just to get absolutely fucking stomped by Japan in quite possibly the most one-sided naval battle ever, then had to crawl several thousand miles back home in utter defeat.

(E: As several have mentioned, there's hilarious parts I didn't recount and parts I got a little wrong just reciting the basics from memory. Look it up, the Battle of Tsushima. It's a pretty crazy moment in history.)

[–]pwnedbyscope 413 points414 points415 points  (12 children)

You left out the best part, the Russians were scared shirtless as you said of Japanese torpedo boats so they shot at two fishing trawlers who were sent to deliver a message to the admiral of the fleet, before the even left the Baltic. Then they shot at small group british fishing vessels off the coast of Britain actually managing to sink one, while also damaging two of thier own.

Anyway, the best part after sailing around Africa having a few more incidents of opening fire on random fishing vessels along the way the fleet approached japan. Finally they came across an actual Japanese ship, who they promptly determined to be Russian. Completely revealing themselves to and then they were stomped by Japanese navy.

Also forgot to mention since they were kinda upset about having to sail around Africa they decided it would be a good idea to try and brighten their spirits, by stopping at Madagascar and bringing aboard a bunch of random animals including a fucking crocodile, and a venomous snake who bit a senior officer. And that's not even all the crazy shit that happened on this dumb voyage

[–]GenerikDavis 413 points414 points415 points  (23 children)

You're a bit hyperbolic, but the actual Japanese losses are so minimal that the difference between 3 dead and the real damage is like a rounding error when comparing to the Russians.

117 dead, torpedo boats sunk for the Japanese. That's 255 tonnage in ships sunk.

5,045 dead, 26 ships sunk or captured including 11 battleships of various classes for the Russians. 143,232 tonnage in ships sunk.

43 times the casualties and 560+ times the tonnage lost. And I can't stress enough how devastating losing battleships was in those days. A battleship was a huge investment at the time. Not quite on the magnitude of if the US lost an aircraft carrier today, but maybe like 1/3 that.

This is arguably in the top 5 most decisive naval battles of all time, and yeah, very possibly the most lopsided. It was also the first major defeat of a major European power by a non-European power in modern history.


E: Typo

[–]whoami_whereami 40 points41 points42 points  (0 children)

Japan lost 3 torpedo boats and 116 men at the Battle of Tsushima. Russia lost 8 battleships (and a whole bunch of smaller vessels) and 5000 men.

Although aside from this one engagement the whole war wasn't quite as lopsided. Over all Japan actually lost slightly more men than Russia did, and they lost two battleships as well.

TBF though, back then noone in the west thought that Japan would win this war (and probably not even Japan itself given that they offered a favorable peace deal to Russia early on). Russia had the fourth largest navy in the world at the time, after the UK, France and Germany. While Japan had only fought its first modern war a few years prior against Qing dynasty China which had failed in its attempts to modernize its military in the wake of the Opium Wars (where they had been completely subjugated by Britain and France).

[–]pulzeguy 168 points169 points170 points  (11 children)

which was willingly sent out with almost all of its missile defense systems down, as well as the radar switched off due to being unable to use it while using communications.

Those 18-20 year old conscripts in the lower deck didn’t even know they were being attacked until their quarters were on fire and flooding.

Death to Putin.

[–]smilesandlaughter 1396 points1397 points1398 points  (38 children)

A badly paraphrased joke from Zelenksy himself!

"2 russian friend meet at a bar after a year apart. One of them, a priest has been away on a religious mission the last year.

He asks his friend who remained in Russia, what on earth is going on, I hear there is a war?

His friend replies, yes, we're at war with NATO! We've lost thousands of tanks, tens of thousands of soldiers and our economy is tanking!

Oh shit exclaims the priest and what about NATO?

"They haven't showed up yet"

[–]DeeHawk 255 points256 points257 points  (22 children)

What else would be the point of sending weapons? It's not like there is another incentive. Stating the obvious, but I guess it beats the obvious lies.

On Monday, Moscow's foreign minister Sergey Lavrov warned that Russia and the West are no longer in a "hybrid war" but almost a "real one".

Yeah that must be real scary for them, considering it wasn't supposed to be war.

Drooling idiots.

[–]maybehelp244 122 points123 points124 points  (2 children)

As the joke goes in this "real war".

Two Russian men are standing at the bus stop when the first says to the other, "Have you heard?! We are at war with NATO! We've already lost 120,000 men!"

The second responds, "Oh my God, that's awful! How many has NATO lost?!"

The first says, "They haven't showed up yet."

[–]lionseatcake 23 points24 points25 points  (1 child)

Of course it was apparent, it was the whole point.

Country A attacks country B. Country B's allies send it resources.

Country A, "Whatre you trying to do, defeat us?"

Yes, that is literally the entire point. Also, water will get you wet and the sky is blue

[–]koshgeo 63 points64 points65 points  (1 child)

Day 335 of the 3-day special military operation

Dear diary:

I think western countries may be trying to inflict defeat on us.

Also, I'm getting suspicious that the Ukrainian people may not want to become part of Russia.